Excuse My Muse

Penis Requests a Raise

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases


Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

*yawn*

*stretch*

Good morning tblogers :)

*slurp, slurp, ahhhh*

The coffee sure is good today...

Ahh, yes, the count down. In just five days I will officially be the proud and confused mum of a teenager! That's right, my lovely daughter will be 13 on Friday...I can still remember her toddler days so well....where did the time go?

She's well past the regular birthday party age so we are opting to take her and a friend or two out for dinner and a movie. Since there is no actually party we have made up for it in the way of prezzies...many prezzies. We can't help ourselves, she's our only child so why not spoil her a little! Of course, dad, the shop-o-holic that he is, will end up going over-board by the end of the week. So far we have gotten her a new computer with all the trimmings, an entertainment centre so she has somewhere to put her tv and stereo once the computer comes so that can go on the computer desk she has now.

Of course the regular girly things like make up and hair doodles are yet to be bought. CD's are a given...we've learned that any holiday or special occasion must include the newest CD's! Clothes of course...afterall she is a girl ;)

Oooooo and one more big surprize! Not sure if anyone who reads this actually know's anything about Canadian Idol (it's like the American one but in Canada) And just 2 weeks ago a 18yr old boy from a city only 2 hrs from us won. He's the cutest thing and all the girls swoon over him. Well anyway...my SIL lives in that city and she collected all sorts of posters, news clippings and a t-shirt for her and then yesterday he held a home-coming concert there and my bestest SIL stood in line for 3hrs with his single and got him to sign it! He signed it *Happy Birthday Lais, love Kalan Porter*

My gawd, when she see's it she is gonna freak right out...I think ear-plugs will be a must...and all her little friends will be green with envy! I can't wait to see her face :)

Watched The Alamo last night...what a long slow dragged out movie :( Not worth the $3.99 in my opionion.

Ahhhh, it's Turkey Day...well not officially until tomorrow but we have been invited for turkey dinner at the one of many family members hubs has. That's the great thing about having a huge family...there's always somewhere to go for a holiday meal ;) SO, once again I have been saved from cooking one of them honkin' huge birds...yeaaaa for me!!!!

Oh what else can a blather on about....ummmm....

I am surrounded by people with the astrological signs Leo and Libra. Seems almost everyone I know is either one of these two signs...makes me wonder.

Have you ever noticed the same thing?

Time for another coffee...and another ciggy ( I quit quitting yet again..grrr)

Must go slap some pretty on....

Have a day!

Since my last blog, which by the way had a good turn of events because I didn't have to work and got to go shopping afterall, I have done squat!

This week has been so uneventful...makes me wonder if something big is about to happen....the quiet befor the storm?

Oh sure, I've raked leaves...and raked more leaves...and raked even more leaves. Seems there is a never-ending rain of them and they seem to gather quite happily in large piles infront of the door. The wind is not helping my mission much either. Just when you think you've got them cleared up and piled nicely a gust of wind blows and there's more raking to do. I do love the sound of them crunching under my feet though....I always have...it's an built in stress reliever...wonder if I'm too old to jump in the piles and burrie myself, like I did as a child?

Hubs is a happy camper. He decided to give himself a prezzie, like all good shop-a-holics do, he brought home a 37inch HDTV flat widescreen for his recroom. I did feel sorry for him as all he had was a 13inch tv to watch, a big step down from the 52inch one he previously had. So when he's happy, I'm happy...yup, we're one big happy household.

Long weekend for us Canadians...Monday is Thanksgiving. I'm not cooking a turkey...can't be bothered with just the 3 of us. Besides, I don't wanna get turkey'd out befor x-mas when I'm annually forced to wrestle on of them huge birds into my oven. Take out anyone?

Ahhh...I can hear the wind blowing and the scattering of yet more, many more leaves....guess that's my que!

Have a day....

Work?
What's that?
For free you say?
Sorry, I don't quite understand...

Yeah...I'm spoiled...I don't have to work for a living.
I can just do what I do, quite happily, and no one forces me out into the real world to earn a living.

So why today, Saturday of all days, is my man telling me to put on my scrubs to get ready for an afternoon of physical labor??
I'm stunned...shocked...in awe!
I thought I was going shopping today...where did this day go wrong?
I'm just a petite 'lil thing and this big man wants me..yes ME to join him in the drywalling experience.
I just don't understand...
And for Free?
There's a concept that blows right over my head...way over, like the leaves falling from the tree's.

I was gonna do my hair, slap on some beautifying muck, and step into those lovely black boots of mine that make me look taller...instead, I'm gonna have to put my long tresses up, forgo the lippy, and slap ugly white muck on some walls.

Phuck Phuck... .FUCK!

This is not how my day was supposed to be :(